Ever felt like you’re battling a dozen different urges just to get through the day? Imagine that, but as a game. That’s the core of Everyone is John, a bizarre, brilliant, and often hilarious tabletop RPG that strips away the usual fantasy tropes to focus purely on psychological warfare and collective chaos. It’s not about slaying dragons; it’s about controlling a single, hapless dude named John, whose mind is a battleground for your every whim. And on DarkAnswers.com, we’re here to show you how to win that battle.
This isn’t your grandma’s D&D. Everyone is John is a game about influence, subtle manipulation, and exploiting the shared psyche of a single character. It’s about finding the cracks in the system, leveraging the weaknesses of your opponents (the other voices in John’s head), and quietly steering John towards your own twisted, personal goals. If you’re looking to understand the hidden mechanics of group control and how even a fragmented mind can be bent to your will, you’ve come to the right place.
What the Hell is “Everyone is John”?
At its heart, Everyone is John is a storytelling game with minimal rules. One player takes on the role of the Game Master (GM), who essentially represents John’s subconscious and the world around him. The rest of the players are “voices” in John’s head. Each voice has a unique, often bizarre, “obsession” they want John to fulfill.
The goal? To be the voice that most successfully guides John to complete your obsession. But here’s the catch: you’re all fighting for control, and John only has one body. This leads to glorious, unpredictable, and often catastrophic outcomes as John lurches from one contradictory action to another, driven by a cacophony of internal commands.
The Core Mechanics, Stripped Bare
Understanding the rules is key to breaking them. Here’s a quick breakdown of how John operates:
- The GM (John’s Subconscious): Describes the world, interprets John’s actions, and assigns a difficulty (a number of dice) to tasks. They also dole out John’s trauma.
- The Voices: These are you and your fellow players. Each has an Obsession (e.g., “Make John knit a sweater for a squirrel,” “Get John to steal a traffic cone,” “Convince John he’s a secret agent”).
- Willpower: This is your currency for control. Each voice starts with a set amount (usually 10-15). You spend Willpower to take control of John.
- Taking Control: When a voice wants John to do something, they state their action and spend 1 Willpower. They then roll a number of dice equal to John’s current number of skills (usually 3).
- Success: If at least one die rolls a 6, John successfully performs the action. If multiple voices try to control John at once, the one who spent the most Willpower (and succeeds) wins. Ties are broken by rolling off.
- Skills: John starts with three skills (e.g., ‘Walking,’ ‘Talking,’ ‘Basic Motor Skills’). When John succeeds at a task related to a skill he doesn’t have, the GM might grant him that skill. These skills add dice to future rolls.
- Trauma: When John fails an action, or when the GM deems it appropriate for dramatic effect, John takes trauma. This slowly drives him insane, eventually leading to his demise or an epic breakdown.
Playing the GM: The Architect of Anarchy
If you’re running the game, your job isn’t just to narrate; it’s to subtly provoke and escalate. You’re the unseen hand guiding John into situations where the voices will clash, creating maximum drama and opportunity for chaos.
- Set the Scene: Start John in a mundane, relatable situation. A park bench, a bus stop, a grocery store. This makes the eventual descent into madness even funnier.
- Interpret Actions Creatively: A voice says, “John walks to the store.” Don’t just say he walks. “John shuffles awkwardly, eyes darting, as if expecting to be mugged by a pigeon.” Add flavor, add potential for failure or unintended consequences.
- Escalate the Stakes: Introduce complications. A friendly dog approaches, a lost wallet is on the ground, a suspicious-looking character is nearby. These are prime opportunities for voices to spend Willpower and fight for control.
- Wield Trauma Judiciously: Trauma isn’t just for failed rolls. If John does something truly bizarre or self-destructive, hit him with it. It’s your narrative tool to push the story forward and make the voices sweat.
- Be Impartial (Mostly): Your job is to facilitate the voices’ struggle, not pick a winner. Let their obsessions drive the narrative, but don’t be afraid to throw a wrench in the works if things get too predictable.
Playing a Voice: The Art of Covert Control
This is where the DarkAnswers principles truly shine. You’re not just playing a character; you’re an internal saboteur, a silent manipulator vying for dominance.
1. Choose Your Obsession Wisely
Your obsession is your guiding star. It needs to be:
- Specific: “Make John rich” is too vague. “Get John to steal a diamond from a jewelry store” is perfect.
- Actionable: It should involve clear steps John can take.
- Challenging: It shouldn’t be something John can do in one turn.
- Exploitable: Look for an obsession that can be achieved through indirect means or by piggybacking on other voices’ actions.
Think about how your obsession can be twisted. Can you get John to accidentally fulfill it while trying to do something else? Can you set the stage for another voice to complete a part of your goal without them even realizing it?
2. Manipulate John (and the Other Voices)
Direct commands are for amateurs. You need to think several steps ahead.
- Subtle Influence: Instead of saying, “John, steal the car!” try, “John, look at that shiny car. It’s so… red.” Plant ideas. Nudge him in the right direction. Let other voices do the heavy lifting of control, then swoop in at the critical moment.
- The Willpower Economy: Don’t blow all your Willpower early. Save it for crucial moments when John is about to complete your obsession, or when another voice is dangerously close to theirs. Let others exhaust themselves on trivialities.
- Exploit John’s Skills: If John already has ‘Driving,’ look for ways to use it. If he doesn’t, can you trick another voice into making John learn it, thus increasing your chances later?
- Collusion and Sabotage: This is where the game gets dark. Can you form a temporary alliance with another voice to block a third? Can you trick someone into making John do something self-destructive that, by pure chance, advances your agenda? “Hey, John, that window looks like it needs a good headbutt, for science!”
- The Blame Game: When John inevitably messes up, point fingers. “See? That was clearly [Other Voice]’s fault for making John try to juggle chainsaws!” Your goal is to keep your own Willpower high and your influence untarnished.
3. Mastering the Roll
Every roll of the dice is a chance to exert control. The more skills John has, the more dice you roll, the better your odds. Your job is to encourage John to learn skills that benefit you, even if indirectly.
- Skill Acquisition: If your obsession involves John becoming a master chef, you might subtly encourage him to try cooking, even if it’s just making toast. If he succeeds, he might gain a ‘Cooking’ skill, making your future attempts easier.
- The Accidental Success: Sometimes, John will succeed at something completely unrelated to your command. Be ready to pivot. How can this new skill or situation be twisted to your advantage?
Advanced Tactics: Beyond the Basics
Once you’ve got the hang of the core game, it’s time to truly master the art of mental subjugation.
- The Long Con: Some obsessions require a long-term strategy. Don’t rush. Plant seeds, build John’s skills, and subtly steer him over multiple turns. Patience is a weapon.
- The False Flag: Pretend your obsession is something else entirely. Mislead the other voices about your true goals until it’s too late for them to react.
- Leveraging Trauma: While trauma is bad for John, it can be good for you. A traumatized John is more unpredictable, more prone to irrational acts. Can you use this to your advantage? Can you push John to the brink, knowing that his breakdown might accidentally fulfill your goal?
- The Unspoken Alliance: Sometimes, two obsessions align for a short period. Don’t announce it, but work in concert. Let the other voice spend their Willpower on a shared goal, then diverge at the last moment.
Conclusion: Control the Narrative, Control John
Everyone is John is more than just a game; it’s a social experiment in miniature. It reveals how easily a shared entity can be pulled in conflicting directions, how individual agendas can create collective madness, and how a clever player can subtly dominate the narrative. It’s about understanding the unspoken rules of influence and leveraging them for your own ends.
So gather your friends, choose your most outlandish obsession, and dive into the fractured mind of John. Will you be a benevolent guide, a chaotic agent, or a silent manipulator? The only way to find out is to play. Go forth, control John, and may your obsessions be gloriously, terrifyingly fulfilled.